Charlotte’s Story
Charlotte Robinson describes the care and support her mother Helen received from the Hospice during the early 2020s.
My mum, Helen, was born in 1971 into a family of four in Hamiltonsbawn.
She came from a farming background where family was very important, and family needs always came first. This is something she instilled in us as well- how important your family was and how important it was to be kind. Mum loved life, she loved her friends, and her job as a Spanish and French Teacher in Banbridge Academy. She loved being a mum, and it showed in everything she did for us; she was a truly wonderful mother.
My mum and dad, Trevor, married young and had 4 children – myself, Matthew, Annie and Ellie. We were just a normal family but a very happy one, all of us very close in age and loved our family holidays to Dunfanahy. Mum loved the beach and our times together in Donegal.
All of that changed in 2013 when mum was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 42. My youngest sister Ellie was only six and I was just 15, but I remember how strong mum was. She accepted all the treatment offered, and both Mum and Dad kept our family life going as well. They would often visit Dunfanahy, to go to the beach, for the sea air and some time together and it always did Mum good.
Our family life returned to almost normal after that, though Mum still needed to take medication to prevent a recurrence. Sadly, in 2019, we received the news no one wants- Mums’ cancer has returned. She retired from teaching and, once again, took what treatment was offered to her.
I was in Spain on my placement year – I have followed in my mums’ footsteps and was training to be a French and Spanish teacher. She came out to stay with me, and I will be forever grateful to have shared this very precious time with her.
Then Covid and the lockdowns came, and I returned home to be with my family. It might sound strange, but this was a special time for us. We were all back at home together, Mum was still having treatment, but we were together, and that was all she wanted.
Mum gradually grew weaker and was eventually hospitalised to try and manage her symptoms. Last September, the doctors spoke to Mum and Dad, explaining that the treatment wasn’t working any more. Hospice care was mentioned for the first time, but we weren’t ready to accept it.
Mum was in hospital, but she wanted to go home, even for one night, and so it was arranged. We took her home and Dad and I sat with her that night back in her own bed. But Mum was so ill , and we knew she would be more comfortable in Hospice care. Admission was arranged, Dad accompanied her in the ambulance, and I drove behind with the rest of our family. None of us knew what to expect.
My lasting impression is of the care and an abundance of kindness. Just hours after arriving, Mum was so much more settled, so calm, and because of that, so were we. There was a lady called Sheila at reception, and from the first time we met, she remembered our names, Mum’s name and she spoke to us every time we passed her. She had bowls of sweets and would encourage us all to take some. It’s a small thing, but that to me, that’s what Hospice care is- all the small things that make such a difference when your heart is breaking.
We took turns sitting with Mum, so she was never alone, though we were never alone either. A nurse was always unobtrusively checking that she was ok, that we were ok. Matthew, the chaplain was a great source of comfort and support to Dad and helped him explain to my younger siblings what was happening. It was a wonderful team of people who would do anything to help you.
Thursday, 14th December last year is a day we will never forget. We knew Mum did not have long, so her sisters and our minister came to be with us. Out in the Hospice car park, hundreds of people were gathering for the annual Light Up A Life ceremony, where the beautiful Christmas tree was to be switched on.
The staff came in to Mum’s room and offered to close the blinds and the windows during the ceremony, but we said no, and we opened them so Mum might hear the beautiful singing and music, with the lights from the tree shining up into her room.
Mum passed away shortly after the ceremony ended, with all of us by her side. After she passed, the staff were fantastic with us. We could feel the empathy from every one of them. We left the Hospice that night for the last time, the beautiful tree shining in the now- silent car park.
We returned at a later date to see the staff, to thank them, and to give Sheila some sweets for her bowls. It felt important to us. There were some of the photos from the evening on a noticeboard – in one photo we can see mum’s bedroom window and the light from the Christmas tree is illuminating it- forever capturing a very special time for our family.
This year, she will have her own light on that tree, and we will gather around it to remember her.
I am so proud to share our story with you, to tell you about the wonderful work of our local Hospice. We will never forget them or their kindness, for they are now forever part of our memories of our wonderful Mum.
Charlotte Robinson
On behalf of Trevor, Matthew, Annie and Ellie Robinson